


Planned Accidents - A "White Alert" Prequel

by daughter_of_the_fifth_house



Series: The Crew's Fun Alerts [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Annoyed Bones, F/M, Genderswap, Pre-Relationship, aliens plotting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 16:49:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13931205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daughter_of_the_fifth_house/pseuds/daughter_of_the_fifth_house
Summary: Whenever a starship visits Hedoa the inhabitants make some of the visitors get married. Just for fun. They choose two people, find a (mostly) random reason and tell them they're married now, because of doing this or that. This time they pick Captain Jamie T. Kirk and her CMO Leonard McCoy.This is a prequel/companion piece to the fic "White Alert", but can also be read as a standalone/oneshot.





	Planned Accidents - A "White Alert" Prequel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tamaha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamaha/gifts).



> This is a companion piece to the fic "White Alert", but can also be read as a standalone/oneshot. 
> 
> In a comment on "White Alert" Tamaha brought up the idea of aliens gossiping about how much fun it is to make silly visitors from starships married for some random reasons. So, I combined that idea with the second accidental wedding of Jamie Kirk and Leonard McCoy (as mentioned in chapter 16).
> 
> Edit April 14th: I decided to make an addition in the title of this fic and also make it a part of the series "The Crew's Fun Alerts".

"What do we know about them, Pria?" Queen Menaia of Hedoa, a humanoid woman with silver skin, asked the woman stepping to her on the balcony of the palace.

Ambassador Pria bowed and took at look down to the seven visitors in red, blue and gold currently walking towards the large building. "They are representatives of the United Federation of Planet's military group called Starfleet, your Majesty. The woman in the middle wearing gold is called Captain Jamie Tiberia Kirk."

"The leader?"

"Yes, your Majesty. The man and two of the women in red are her security detail. The third woman in red is Nyota Uhura, her Chief of Communications. One of the men in blue is a scientist and the other one walking very close to her is a doctor. Leonard McCoy. I know, it is strange to see women and men together in public like that. The Federation has strange customs."

The queen eyed the visitors. "Yes, well, we have seen stranger things, did we not? But I think they are excellent candidates. It's been months since we had a nice alien wedding."

The Ambassador grinned. "Indeed, your Majesty. The shocked look on the Salian visitors' faces last time - priceless. And the banquet in the courtyard was wonderful. Everyone spoke of it for weeks. The people in the village enjoyed themselves. And I think the couple from back then may have become a real one. I caught them making out in the gardens later."

"Really? You did not tell me."

"Did I not? Oh, my bad. I may have had too much to drink that night."

The queen waved it off. "Which ones shall we choose this time?"

"Two of the reds?"

The queen tilted her head.

"Or the scientist and one of security officers?"

Menaia still didn't answer.

"Shall we let the people vote about the pairing tonight? We have scheduled a tour through the city, so everyone could see them and decide then."

"No." A determined smile appeared on the queen's lips. "Look at the captain and the doctor."

Pria did, but made a helpless gesture. She didn't understand what the queen was getting at.

"Are they married?" She gave her a smug smile. "They look very close. I think they either _are_ already a couple or it might get _quite_ interesting to make them into one."

"According to our information Jamie Kirk is unmarried", the ambassador replied. "How shall we do it this time? Shall I let the servants prepare some of the jewel cups for tonight? We can certainly make one of them hand the other a cup. Or the approach with the stairs? Or the too-close-standing-together-in-public? We have not done that in a while."

The queen let her glance wander to the approaching Starfleet officers again. "The stairs. Maybe she will even trip and he has to catch her. Always a nice bonus. Perhaps some we will even get more than just one couple out of this." She smirked. "We can do cups with some silly visitors. But maybe we should retire that plot soon. The Farini are doing something similar. We should get more creative. Tell the prime minister he shall put it on the agenda for the next council meeting."

Pria nodded.

"Also, I do not think the Starfleet people would believe us standing to close together would cause a union", the queen went on. "They may be new to this part of the galaxy and oblivious about many things about our culture, but they are not _that_ naive. They already know too much about us, too. And if we were too obvious we might get busted."

The ambassador nodded again and bowed. "Your Majesty." She turned and went to greet the aliens.

 

***

 

"Oh, come on, it's not that bad." Captain Jamie T. Kirk tried to suppress a smirk while walking with the away team towards the palace in the capital of the planet Hedoa. She had chosen Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, science officer Lieutenant Andrew Wayne, her Chief Medical Officer Doctor Leonard McCoy and three ensigns from security.

"We know practically nothing about them", the doctor complained.

"We know that they have a culture in which men and women are mostly separated. It's a matriarchal society and they allowed us to beam down with a mixed away team. That shows that they're open minded", Nyota Uhura replied.

Jamie grinned. "Look at it this way, Bones, you can stay in the background and leave the talking to the women."

"So business as usual?" he replied teasingly.

The captain just gave him a quick glare.

"I hate diplomatic missions", he mumbled.

Jamie laughed. "You hate _all_ away missions."

"So?"

She just grinned and shook her head. "I didn't make the rule that every away team has to have a doctor."

He snorted. "Yeah, _now_ you follow protocol. But what about the rule stating that the captain has to stay on the ship?"

She still grinned. "That's more of a suggestion than a rule. And it doesn't apply to diplomatic missions anyway. Cultures like this expect to meet the leader. Which is me."

Leonard sighed and grumbled something under his breath.

Jamie ignored it. They arrived now at the palace anyway. Several representatives and, from the look of it, servants were waiting for them. All women. One of them stepped towards the captain.

"Welcome to Atropa, the capital of Hedona. I am Ambassador Pria." She slightly bowed.

Jamie did the same. "I'm Jamie Tiberia Kirk, Captain of the Federation starship Enterprise."

"It is a pleasure."

"You already know my Chief of Communications. Lieutenant Nyota Uhura."

The Ambassador smiled. Nyota did, too.

 Jamie introduced also the other members of the away team. "We are very thankful that you allowed us to bring a mixed delegation."

"We try to be open minded. But it is very strange for us to see men and women in public together without being married."

Wayne gave Jamie a questioning look.

"Ambassador, Lieutenant Wayne would be honored to learn more about you culture. If that's alright with him being a man", Jamie said.

The silver woman pondered for a few moments. "Well, we also do have male scholars. We can arrange for him to meet with some of them later. But he is not allowed to talk to woman."

Jamie nodded. "Of course, Ambassador Pria. We respect that."

"First I want to introduce you now to Queen Menaia. Please make sure that your men stay in the background."

"We will", Nyota assured after a glance to the captain and the other officers.

The Ambassador nodded and gestured them to follow her. Jamie went first and Leonard McCoy's glance made it clear that he insisted on walking at her side. Nyota, the other two women and finally Wayne and the male ensign followed them.

They walked through a big hall towards large stairs that lead downwards. They were set in some boulders on which the palace apparently had been built. The Hedoans walked down fast and with confident steps.

After the first two steps down the doctor was very skeptical about the safety of this old construction that was surrounded by the newer building structure. He offered his right hand to Jamie. He didn't want her to trip and fall. "Jamie..."

She saw his hand and took it. So, the doctor lead the captain down. The other officers followed them, but were careful where to step.

Ambassador Pria was standing at the bottom of the stairs and smiled at Jamie Kirk and Leonard McCoy when they arrived next to her. "How unexpected." She almost grinned now, trying not to let show that she said the opposite of what she thought. "Congratulations on stepping into the future together."

Jamie and Leonard looked confused at each other, then at the Ambassador.

"I don't understand", Jamie began carefully. "What do you mean?"

Pria laughed. "Well, your union of course. You joined hands and walked together down the holy rock stairs of Moirena."

"Uhm..." Jamie just made and looked questioningly to Uhura. She noticed that the doctor at her side started to suspect the same as she did and that he was about to get very mad.

"Ambassador, does this mean..." Uhura started. "... well, are you referring to a wedding ritual?"

"Of course I am." Pria gave them a bright smile and was about to say more when steps approached. She turned and saw the queen. "May I present - her Majesty, Queen Menaia."

The ruler stopped a few meters away and Jamie Kirk bowed to greet her. "It is an honor, your Majesty."

The queen nodded and her eyes locked with the Ambassadors.

"The captain and the doctor decided to step together down the holy rock", Pria said.

"Oh, how wonderful", Menaia exclaimed and started instantly to give her servants orders to make some changes for the planned banquet. "We will celebrate your union appropriately this evening", she said to Jamie.

"Well, that's very nice, but..." Jamie replied, but stopped herself and sighed.

Leonard McCoy touched her arm and she noticed how angry he was by now, but still managed to not make a scene.

"We... uh... would be honored", Jamie finally spoke again. She didn't really know if it was a good idea, but didn't want to cause a diplomatic incident.

The queen turned and started walking. The ambassador looked expectantly to Jamie, Leonard and Nyota. They followed them, Nyota close at Jamie's left side, Leonard at her right side.

"What the hell? This is unbelievable", Leonard hissed in a low voice so the Hedoans would not hear him. "Did Jamie and I just get accidentally married again?"

Nyota tried to suppress a giggle. "I think so." She made a mental not to inform Sulu as soon as possible so he could send out a white alert.

"Relax, Bones", Jamie said. "We'll just file a 13-13b tomorrow. Everything's fine."

"This is _not_ funny, Jamie", the doctor gave back. "Less than two months out in space and we already got accidentally married twice." 

Jamie tilted her head. "And who offered me his hand?"

He glared at her. "I'm not apologizing for me not wanting you to trip and fall down those damn unsafe stairs."

"So stop complaining about this wedding thing. We'll file that form and be done with it. But even without it this marriage wouldn't be legally binding by federation law. So, no harm done."

"I hate diplomatic missions..."

Jamie grinned at him and patted him at the upper arm.

They were so occupied with bantering they didn't notice the queen and the ambassador exchanging some smug smirks.

**Author's Note:**

> For those who haven't read "White Alert": The 13-13b is the anulment form I made up for the other fic.


End file.
